This may be more of a negative post for me, but I think this is something important to talk about.
We hear so often that we are in the midst of a 'mental health crisis'. I have no doubt that that is true. We are all so burnt out from the pressures of life. It can be easy for a while, even a long while, to slap a smile across your face and fake it just to get through a day. But after a while of things piling and piling on top of you, you are bound to break down.
There are a lot of pages to follow, podcasts to listen to, books to read and videos to watch about finding your inner strength and learning to speak up when you need help or support. These are all such important messages and lessons to learn. But do you know what stings the most? When you finally find that courage to speak up, when you finally acknowledge that you are struggling and muster up all of your strength to tell someone and you're met with... nothing, a "bad luck" attitude.
And then to add more salt to the wound of feeling unheard and uncared for, when that same person fails to do part of their job or they don't show up to something or something in their life prevents them from doing something, they feed you the line of "life happens...thank you for your understanding" and expect you to understand.
Sometimes there are just so many things going on in your life that mean you have to make hard decisions. Maybe it means you have to make big changes for you or your family or get the courage to ask for time off work or say no to or break a commitment you previously arranged. Coming to those decisions can be filled with emotional turmoil as it is before you even tell anyone!
But when your bravery to speak up to the necessary people is met with such a lack of understanding, a lack of care and the sort of attitude that means you're expected to suck it up and move on, this can seriously lead to a major breakdown.
Say you cry your tears and muster up your strength to go on with your task, albeit with great difficulty, and then that same person you came to for help then fails to do a simple part of their responsibilities and uses the excuse that "life happens" and expects you to understand, you can then imagine the additional pain that can cause.
I think this has happened to so many people. And when you are often the one in your friendship group or family or workplace that has issues crop up, it's almost as if that's used as an excuse, that you should be the one who understands.
There is only so long you can continue to be the 'understanding one'. There are only so many times you will try to take that step to speak up and ask for help and be met with the 'bad luck' attitude before you will crawl into a hole and completely break down.
We all need to do better. There are times where it is necessary to push through things but there are also times when you need to be heard and have your situation respected enough for someone to listen and take you seriously.
We really do only know the surface of what others are going through. Understanding really needs to be two sided. You cannot expect understanding if you are not willing to give it yourself.
I implore you to really listen to those around you. And if someone comes to you to say they are struggling or need help, know that it probably took all of their strength to even have that conversation with you. It's then your job to show empathy and REAL understanding. Don't just feed them a line and then expect them to show you empathy and understanding when you need it.
Sorry to be blunt but its the truth. You cannot expect what you are not willing to give. Especially when you're dealing with someone's mental health.
xx